The internet is a wonderful place in which it makes you feel like you’re not alone and that you have all the support in the world. The sincerity of this falls short of its claims but that’s a point for another time.
The internet gave birth to the #MeToo hashtag in 2017. The MeToo movement, with variations of local and international names, is a movement against sexual harassment and sexual assault of women. Although the phrase was coined in 2006 by American activist Tarana Burke, it gained heavy momentum after a tweet by American Actress Alyssa Milano mentioned the hashtag. This set off a chain reaction, and one that the entire world bore witness to. Something of this volume could not have been imagined anywhere else but on the internet. It gave women all over the world, the confidence to come out and talk about their, similar, experiences. The experiences they felt alone in and maybe even blamed themselves for.
Women were finally realising that despite being told so for ages, by society and by the media, they weren’t the ones at fault. It was one of the most monumental movements I’ve experienced in my time on the internet and although people have tried to bring shame to it time and again, I will stick to my original opinion, for the ones who did find a new start thanks to it.
Now, the #MeToo movement wasn’t allowed to exist alone for a long time for it was soon to be overshadowed by the #NotAllMen movement, if I may call it that. The point was to talk about how not each and every man on this planet is like these few that were being mentioned. But when you bring up this hashtag or this phrase when womxn are talking about their experiences of abuse and assault, you’re telling us, loud and clear that you don’t care about any of it, at all. The very purpose of you joining the conversation then becomes about you defending the entirety of the male ego and in the process trivialising the experiences of the tens of womxn who finally found the courage to speak up.
You become the very thing you were trying to fight.
Let me be honest, if we get to the literal meaning of the phrase, we get it. We understand that it’s not all men. We realise and recognise the fact that there are people who have grown out of the patriarchal norms, unlearnt and learnt a lot of values and overall improved the quality of life for themselves and the women around them. In fact, if you put your dusty lens aside, you’ll realise how often we talk about these men. And its important to talk about them because they set an example for the rest, something to look up to. But for everything, there’s a time and a place. And when women are talking about their difficult experiences? That’s not the right time to bring it up, or even mention it.
If you want to be a Men’s Rights Activist on your own time, that’s your personal opinion and decision. There’s nothing wrong for standing up for what you believe in. But if the entire point of your voice is to steal the away that of the oppressed, it’s time to take a look inward. YOUR ACTIVISM SHOULD NOT EXIST SOLELY TO STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT AWAY FROM AN IMPORTANT ISSUE.
And that’s my entire problem with this hashtag or this phrase. You have to realise; it doesn’t exist independently. It came into existence as a product of another, bigger, important movement. A movement that gave hundreds, if not thousands, of women the courage and the ability to come out and talk about their oppressors, the people who exploited them for years, the people in their own friend circles, in their own families.
I do realise it’s not all men. And I have, time and again, appreciated these men, to their face and otherwise. But when we talk about our abusers, we feel unified, we feel one with every other woman who speaks up and has spoken up. For just a second there, it feels a little less personal and it feels like we’re not alone in what we’re feeling and have felt for years.
And I don’t believe its okay for you to nullify that with three words or a hashtag.
